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Invincible Youth Ministry Conference Tour

“My daddy’s afraid of clowns”

Posted on Saturday 13 October 2007 by Greg @ 7:15 am
Filed under: Rants

That’s the line my little boy uttered out of the blue to the nurse checking him out for croup. The conversation went something like this:

Nurse: “Jeremy can you breath deeply in and then out.”

Jeremy: “That’s cold” (referring to the metal part of the stethoscope being put on his chest)

Nurse: “I know. I know. It will warm up in just a minute. Okay breathe out again.”

Jeremy: breathing in and out fast like he was hyperventilating

Nurse: “Okay Jeremy I need you to breathe slower and breathe big.”

Jeremy: breathing slower and big

Nurse: “Good job Jeremy”

Jeremy: “Thanks. My daddy is afraid of clowns.”

Nurse: “Excuse me?”

Jeremy: “My daddy. He is really afraid of clowns.”

Nurse: “That’s nice. Okay breathe deeply one more time.”

It was random. It was weird. It was true. Clowns freak me out. They always have.

The two most distinct nightmares of my childhood years had clowns involved. One threw me into a dark abyss after accidentally touching a push lawnmower in a storage shed and the other threw me down a set of stairs. Both were laughing with their evil clown laugh as they did.

Some of you may be kind of offended because you have a clown ministry to children or something like that. Let me give you something to think about: for every ten children that are laughing and cheering by your clown shenanigans and your funny balloon animals there’s one kid who is going to need post traumatic clown counseling. While you are honking your horn and juggling your bowling pins one kid will be laughing all the way to a lifetime full of psychiatric treatment.

And what’s with your shoes? Why are big feet funny? Big feet are associated with Big Foot, another terrifiying creature of the night.

I bet he juggles too.

But there comes a time in all of our lives when we must all face our fears head on. Today’s that day for me. This afternoon at 3:30 my wife, son, daughter and me will drive to the Denver Coliseum to watch the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus.

When I told Jeremy the other day that we were going to the circus he reminded me with a spooky voice, “Daddy…clowns will be there.” He then laughed like only a little future clown can laugh.

Pray with me that Jeremy doesn’t take the wrong path, the path of unrighteous terror, the path of becoming a clown.

Signed, Greg Stier

13 Comments for '“My daddy’s afraid of clowns”'

  1. On October 13, 2007 @ 8:12 am Daniel said:
    • :-) I love how kids say the most random things! But I agree with you, Greg - I don’t like clowns, either. Although clowns are well-intentioned, I react to clowns the same way I react to someone who is sick with pneumonia - I avoid them entirely.

      Have fun at the circus!

    • Permalink to Daniel's comment

  2. On October 13, 2007 @ 11:57 am Becky said:
    • Don’t weary about it Greg.In April I think..or May we have a parade near our church and I saw a clown and like freaked out.I would not even look at it.I am not a clown person.My sister who is older took me to the circus and I remember the clowns doing nutty things.I never went back either.~becky~

    • Permalink to Becky's comment

  3. On October 13, 2007 @ 11:57 am Becky said:
    • *worry

    • Permalink to Becky's comment

  4. On October 13, 2007 @ 12:35 pm Ed said:
    • `\
      *<:O)–+=====”
      / U
      ` U

    • Permalink to Ed's comment

  5. On October 13, 2007 @ 12:42 pm Ed said:
    • That ASCII clown looked a lot better in the comment box. It had big feet and everything. Never mind, just have a look here:

      www . juggling . org / pics/ ascii/ stark /

    • Permalink to Ed's comment

  6. On October 14, 2007 @ 8:01 am Greg Stier said:
    • We had a great time at the Circus. Jeremy has “cured” me of my fear of clowns. He kept reassuring me that “they’re just people daddy” and then asking me “are you still afraid of clowns?” Finally, I gave in to his persistence. They are just people…weird, demented people. And I am not afraid of them. I am not afraid of them. I am not…oh no, Ronald McDonald just came into Starbucks…and he’s looking at me with his evil grin. Gotta go.

    • Permalink to Greg Stier's comment

  7. On October 14, 2007 @ 6:55 pm Chris Davis said:
    • Dude, my son says the most random things as well. :)

      Clowns freak me out too.

    • Permalink to Chris Davis's comment

  8. On October 15, 2007 @ 4:29 pm Janna - Laurel UMC Montana said:
    • Greg–
      Don’t ever watch Steven King’s “IT” (no, this is not a reference to the techies at work). It will leave you even more scared of clowns. Clowns with sharp teeth. Clowns in drainage ditches with sharp teeth grabbing little children. Oh, it gets worse, this clown takes the images of other scary things (mummy/skeleton/spides) to get to people. In an essence…he is Satan.
      It’s too bad Pennywise the Clown (yes the clown has a name in “IT”) is played by Tim Curry. I really liked Tim Curry before now. Now I just can’t stomach the thought of him with all those jagged teeth!

      Good luck at the circus. I hope you make it out alive.. Mwahahahahaha (insert evil laugh).

    • Permalink to Janna - Laurel UMC Montana's comment

  9. On October 18, 2007 @ 5:39 pm Lmbcyouth said:
    • ok…..found the youth min wife. She actually caught us in the ofc. Whoops. We showed her our plug on this website on your Stier trek. Then she stops us. Logs in her and Russ’ facebook. Shows us a picture of you with them, just the other day! What’s with that! That is so DUKE!! They never said anything! Hope they never shinked us by embarrasement! Oh well! You know youth leaders! Russ said we will be at the conference in Lincoln. Russ goal is 50 Plus! That would be DUKE!! Luv ya Man!

    • Permalink to Lmbcyouth's comment

  10. On October 22, 2007 @ 3:09 pm Steve Cloud said:
    • Greg, thanks for the laugh! I HATE clowns! They just creep me out. I was laughing so hard while reading your story. Sounds exactly like something one of my daughters would do!

    • Permalink to Steve Cloud's comment

  11. On October 30, 2007 @ 11:50 am Heather said:
    • Got this forward that says “You and Greg have something in common”… never really concidered the possibility. Just so you know how much I loath Clowns; My hubby took our oldest son to the Circus and VERY willingly [in fact my idea] I stayed home with the 1 year old. I DO NOT do the circus.
      ;oP HL

    • Permalink to Heather's comment

  12. On November 4, 2007 @ 8:09 pm Kolleen Dare said:
    • Hey I can’t brlive your afraid of clowns. But I don’t remember ever seeing a clown. I haven’t gone to a circus since I lived in Louisiana. Since I’ve lived in Maryland (3 years on July 12th) I am glad u got over the whole afraid of clowns.

    • Permalink to Kolleen Dare's comment

  13. On November 7, 2007 @ 4:58 pm Curtis said:
    • Greg,

      That is way too funny, because a student in my ministry actually performed a song at our Winter Camp Talent Show last year called “My Dad’s Afraid of Clowns.” Check out his performance on YouTube… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wcxcs8ewZ1k

      Curtis

    • Permalink to Curtis's comment

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